I've been pretty quiet for the last couple months, but the truth is the issue has been going on longer than that. Without going into all the drama, my motivation took hit a couple years ago when Faster Monkey Games suffered a "creative setback" as one member pretty much decided to go his own way and developed a game and ran his own Kickstarter for it apart from FMG. While he was perfectly within his rights to do so, the result was some hurt feelings and a pretty severe blow to FMG's "normal" chaotic process. In the end, after kidding myself we could limp along, Faster Monkey formally shut down last fall.
Long story short: It pretty much killed any joy in developing products for me. Now that's on me, not him. My motivation, etc. is my own responsibility and no one else's. Be that as it may, it really sucked the wind out of my creative sails. My writing, mini painting, and gaming has slacked off a great deal.
Fast forward to the present: I've been on (another) hiatus from my regular gaming group. As my former Monkey is no longer part of the group either, the chemistry has changed. Everyone still there are cool people, but when you find yourself in a funk, it's all too easy to find excuses to not do things that remind you of what caused the problem. It's also unfair to the group when I halfheartedly commit to play (or worse, run) a game and then flake out because I'm unmotivated to continue. It's supposed to be FUN, not a chore. The few times I have tentatively hit upon something that kindles a spark, any resistance or setback snuffs it before it can gain traction.
The thing is, I miss gaming. I miss painting minis. I miss writing goofy adventures and putting them up online. I want to want to do those things, but I've had a terrible time summoning the enthusiasm.
</emo venting>
So here I am trying to move forward a bit. I have two adventures that I had started a little while ago. One for Fantasy AGE and one for Crypts & Things. They aren't any great epics, but both are 90% through first draft stages. I'm setting myself a goal to complete at least the rough drafts and maps before March. I will post both as free pdfs and at least have accomplished that much.
I also have scads of Reaper Bones minis unpainted, with more on the way. I'm going to clean up the painting table and put paint to brush again, even if they end up looking terrible. So a mini a week seems a reasonable goal.
I also signed up to attend Garycon this March. I'm not running anything, but I am going and rolling some dice, darn it!
I don't know if doing all this will help me get my groove back, but doing something is better than to keep on doing nothing.
